8:00   I made a snow man. 
8:10   A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman. 
8:15   So, I made a snow woman. 
8:17   The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest. 
8:20   The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snow men instead. 
8:25   The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 
8:28   I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 
8:31   The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf. 
8:40   Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on. 
8:42   I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter: “Yeah, if it’s up your a***” 
8:45  Local TV news crew shows up.  I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?  I reply, “Snowballs” and I’m called a sexist. 
8:52   My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am being blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter. 
9:00   I’m on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather. 
9:10   I am asked if I have any accomplices. 
9:29   A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.
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