Gun Control 101

judge2banna (1)  Anna von Reitz

Gun control, like bladder control, is a personal matter.

All those who feel that they can’t control themselves should, by all means, take measures to donate their guns to competent authorities before any accidents occur.

All those who (generally speaking) want to impose their will on other people, have feelings of anxiety, and who can’t control the impulse to trespass upon others are invited —indeed, encouraged— to turn in their guns and other weapons at the nearest police station.

We can arrange to have Social Psychologists assigned to each one of you as Caseworkers and make sure that your homes are sanitized of all possible dangerous tools, objects, and substances. Of course, you will have to retrain yourselves to eat everything with your fingers, and won’t be allowed to use soap. Also, you won’t be allowed to cook or eat cooked food, but that is the price we pay for safety.

Since virtually all perpetrators of these mass shootings have been progressives it only makes sense that all progressives and members of the ACLU and Democrats (generally speaking) be disarmed as quickly as possible, unless of course, they sign and record a public oath with a videotaped Pinky Promise Ceremony promising everyone that they won’t go nuts in the foreseeable future.

Disarm yourselves immediately, with our blessings; but, expect to pay a large “Security Tax” next year as part of the overall gun control effort.

After all, if we have to control your guns for you and use guns in your defense against predators and crazy people and pay (admittedly useless) police forces to stand around while you are being shot at, it is only reasonable that you pay a substantial additional tax for being unable or unwilling to shoulder your share of the burden of public safety.

How does an additional $5,000 per year in taxes sound? And two weeks a year of community service on assignment with the state militia? That sounds fair. Right?

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