Use Your Ears
I hate anything cloying. I really do. It makes my skin crawl to have some sanctimonious hateful Talking Head intone, “In these challenging times….” in exactly the same way a more decent man or woman might say, “I’m sorry your dog died.”
“In these challenging times….””In these challenging circumstances….” “In these uncertain times….” “In these unfortunate times….” “In these unstable times….”
I’ve heard all the variations and so have you, day after day, in newscasts and in advertisements for everything from hamburgers, to Hondas, to Cremation Services, that usually also remind us that the “average funeral” (whoever determines that “average”) now costs in excess of $25,000.00 to bury 200 lbs of dead meat in a box.
Come all you weary and heavy laden.
Grandma Anna’s Green Funeral Service can provide a plot of good Earth, a decent wooden box, free seating for 25 people, seasonal flowers, a rib-sticking picnic lunch, and a memorial tree over your bones for less than $1000. BYOB.
You see how crazy and commercialized — and offensive — things have gotten?
The out of control Liars and Merchants are trying to corner the market on water and air and sanitation. You can’t even die without paying through the nose.
These Rotten Excuses like to simper and pretend that they are so sensitive, so easily “offended” by every-little-thing? Well, I am offended, too.
Use your ears and when you hear one of these witches start in with their wheedling false-comfort tone of voice, saying anything like, “My dear, I’m sorry …. but in these challenging times…..”
Practice saying, “I am offended!”
And mean it. Look them right in their startled, disbelieving eyes. And with all the theatrical garnish you can muster (while keeping a straight face) sputter, “I am so offended!”
[Yes, my intelligence is offended. My ears are offended. My very soul is offended.]
Pray tell, when are “the times” not “challenging”?
When are there any guarantees?
Who says I won’t be run over by a milk truck on 1-17?
If you want to stop living because you are afraid of dying, you might as well do us all a favor, go directly to the nearest graveyard and start digging!
Mindlessly repeating parrot-like catch-phrases may be okay for a parrot talking to other parrots.
Maybe they learn something by saying things like, “In these challenging times….. ” or “In these uncertain times….” over and over again, but for most of us, that and “Russian collusion” wore out after one repeat.
Practice looking them balefully in the eye and saying, “Oh, I am so dreadfully bored, darling!” and “Whatever are you talking about now? Nasty vile things as usual?” and “If you need to repeat it, please go outside….” and, if you finally just get to the end of your rope there is always the immortal —–“You’re too stupid to be my friend [neighbor, acquaintance, family member]. I’m sorry.”—- and show them the door.
Thankfully, most of the worst of it is broadcast using a television or radio channel, and turning the knob or pushing the button will suffice. For now.